Grot boy and I were not deterred by the disaster of our first attempt to send the teddies to school and were hopeful we could find a solution for their education.
“What if we tried another school?” I suggested, even though I knew that it wasn’t the school that was the problem. “Or perhaps if they each went to a different school, more suited to their specific needs?” But then I realised that this would mean having to drive around the neighbourhood, dropping off a teddy at each of four different schools every morning before going to work.
Grot boy didn’t seem to have any better suggestions. Then I detected a look of excitement and delight on his face. This usually was a sign that he’d come up with another one of his bright, crazy ideas and I was worried. “OK, what is it?” I asked, not wanting to prolong my dread at what might come next.
“The solution is obvious!” he declared. “What the teddies need is home schooling. That way they can all stay together, in an environment they know, with people who understand their individual quirks. Bobby can have his lessons in the chocolate cupboard, Dwight can dress up in all her ribbons at once if she wants and we’ve all got used to avoiding being squashed by Hephie. As long as welfare don’t find out, we can let Ccino have time in the grog cupboard if he becomes too rambunctious.”
“Brilliant!” I said with more than a hint of sarcasm. “And who is going to stay home and teach them?”
Grot boy had it all worked out. “Teddy can teach them geography because he’s travelled a lot, Buddha Bear can teach them about philosophy and religion while Ted 2 can teach them management.” He then continued, “In the evenings, you can teach them arithmetic and English while I’ll teach them science.”
So that’s the plan. Not that I expect it will last too long.
© teddybearlife.com, 2014